burn out

Yesturday was possibly one of the hardest uni days i’ve ever had, especially when i wasn’t even on campus. Yesturday i had my list of tasks to do, my goal to reach, a word/page count that i was striving for .. but it was all just such slow going. Every paragraph seemed like hours of time, every word seemed to be coming out at such a snail-pace. I kept on finding myself going back and re-wording previous sections (which i suppose is good, because this will have to happen eventually).

I’m assuming that it wasn’t the wall that i hit, more of a hump, because if that was the wall i’ve hit it approximately 6-8 months too early :P but it’s so weird in that i have no way to describe why i was having such a hard time.. was it just a bad day? or was i stressed about something else? I’m hoping that today will be better, even though today i have to be finished up earlier.

Already i’m starting to feel the impact that this sort of work can have on your life, any time spent away from my workstation that’s not important (like paying work) instills in me such guilt! Even after a long day of studies a couple of hours out living life seems to almost be horrific, my head’s telling me that i have to get back to work, what am i doing, you’re wasting time.. it can’t be healthy.

I’m hoping to be able to read back on these entries in a couple of months (when i’ve got my writing-style a bit more refined for academia *crosses fingers*) and laugh about how i was so easily stressed early at the beginning..

So anyway, i’m sorry that content wise this place has started hitting a wall, that i’ve been ignoring certain aspects, i promised a new layout and it’s been sitting in the same stagnant place for ages but eventually it will surface.

oh and happy belated bidday to michelle!

Posted by Christian 28 March 2004

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